Have You Been There?
“Have you been there?”
“Yes, many times.”
“What is it like?”
He glowed and unwrapped a density that had been forming. “It’s … so different than here. It’s hard to explain. It’s so dense, much more dense than these.” He swirled some slight densities that were forming as he thought of the dense world.
“How dense?”
“Dense, like you can’t imagine. It is so dense that they call it ‘solid’ there.”
She pulsed an attraction to know: “Solid?”
“Solid is when it all goes so slow that it kind of freezes.”
“Slow? Freezes?”
“OK, that’s because you don’t know about time, and don’t pulse, ‘Time?’ I am going to show you something. It is not the matter world, it is a memory of it I carried with me.”
“Memory?”
“Arrrrrrr!”
“Sorry.”
“Just look.” He unfurled the densest swirl she had ever seen. It was filled with patterns and movements, but the movement was so entirely slow. She learned ‘slow’ and sort of learned ‘frozen’.
“It looks all …”
“Like it is all falling to pieces? It is. It is as though when all slows down, edges form, flow freezes …”
“And you get in that?”
“Only if….”
“If what?”
“Only if you have been called.”
She was quiet. She glowed softly. “How did I start wondering about the dense world? Who would ever wonder about it? You know that wondering opens up the way to it. If I went there I would slow down and freeze. Who would want to slow down and freeze? And fall apart? Why go?”
“That is a hard one. The same thing happened to me. I just started wondering. What was it? What was it like? What would I be like, there? When that started happening, I got the sense that I was being called.”
“What were you like there?”
“You know how you can expand and contract? Think you are somewhere and you are?”
“Of course.”
“You can’t do that there. You are still just what you are, but you are pushed into a tiny… Well you don’t have any idea of what I’m talking about. Look.” He unfurled another density, even more dense that the first one.
“What is that?”
“That is what you live in. It is you, only you all squashed, and squashed some more. It is called a body.”
“That is what I look like squashed together?”
“Well, that is what I looked like squashed together.”
“Not exactly beauty.”
“It has its own kind of beauty. When you are so squashed, condensed, most of your awareness gets put in what they call sequence. It is all still there but you can only be aware of part of your awareness at a time. After a while of being aware of only the tiniest bit of awareness, the the rest of it begins to open and you are aware of more and more over time.”
“What? OK, you are going to have to show me ‘Time’.”
He unfurled a still more dense density. It showed one body after another pulsing into being and then pulsing out of being, into being, out of being. He explained that this is exactly the same as the large pulses she knew about, but he showed it to her in Time. It pulsed in sequence. One part of the pulse after another part.
“Could it be any stranger?”
“I know, it takes some getting used to. It is true what you said about it not being very beautiful, but there is something of rare beauty in anticipation. And don’t pulse ‘anticipation?’ Think like you were in time, one thing after another. Think like you were squashed in a body. It is dark, you don’t know yourself, you are lonely and you don’t even know it. You are asleep, but stumble around anyway. And then you get touched from here. First just a little light, then more, then more. You begin to awaken. The beauty lies in anticipating more awakening.”
“No!”
“No?’
“No, I won’t think like I am squashed in a body. If I do I’ll be there! I’ll get frozen and trapped.”
“Well it is not so easy to get there as just thinking of it. If you ever do get the call, you will have to train for it.”
“Look, I have been called. I have been thinking about it; I can’t help it. That is why we are having this interchange. You have been there, I never have, and I need to know why. Why be there?”
“Oh yeah, that is a hard one.”
“You said that.”
“Right. You know how the magnetic life holds everything in the One network of joy and beauty?”
“Yes, of course.”
“There are parts, places, where the network does not sing joy and beauty.”
“How can that be?”
“It turns out that there is more to it than we know. There is the great rarity and great density. It is not all like this. This is where the great rarity and the great density have come to live as one. This is where we come into being, and we bring joy and beauty into that being. But in the great density, the joy and beauty are too condensed to sing. The network does flow, but slowly, and barely.”
“And we go to the great density….?”
“Because we must. Some of our family is entombed there, trapped there, because they were called and got stuck.”
“They were called to get trapped?”
“In part, yes. But each carried a cord that connected them back here. See, you never really leave here.”
“What does ‘leave’ mean?”
“Exactly. You don’t move, but to be present in the great density, you have to learn how to project your self in there. Again this is different than just thinking. You have to use the power of the great rarity to project yourself into the great density. And you do this to extend the range of the great rarity into the great density. This is how we exist and why we exist. We bring the two together.”
“Why get trapped? Why get trapped on purpose?”
He unfurled another density. She could see the bodies, the solidity. “Look between the bodies, look closely. See the web is there, it just gets lost in all the solidity, and it is a denser kind of web than the one we live in. Where the life runs through, it brings light and the great rarity causes the great density to move and almost sing. Where the life flows, flows the rarity and it changes the density into something almost like here. Look closer, see those tiny points of light?”
“I do, its … well it is almost beautiful, in a dark kind of way.”
“See, that is here happening there. And there is no way to get that to happen without getting trapped in the great density. You simply cannot get the life to flow into it from the outside. You can’t just think it, you have to get in it. Once in it, you have to learn to think all over again. But eventually you do, you think from within. See that one, right there?”
“Yes, that body seems to have more sparks.”
“When the light comes through like that, it changes the solidity.”
“It becomes less solid?”
“Maybe, but something even more. When the great density and the great rarity come together like that, something new comes to life. In the density, they call it Love.”
She pulsed “Love?”
“It is all around us, it is us, it is everything. We are so used to it we cannot tell it is even there anymore. But in the density it gets sort of squeezed out of us; and we have life without it. That is what makes it so dark and lonely. When we open up the network and life flows, that is the second part we become aware of. Light is the first part. When they come, they change the density from the inside out. I know you don’t understand inside and outside, but you would if you were there.”
“So getting lost there makes the density just like here?”
“Maybe, but I think it is something even more. Something that has never before existed is in all that density. It will be something like here, but maybe it will be something even more beautiful than here; there may be new songs. There may be more to it than we can know until it happens, until the density and rarity get together.”
She was quiet for a long time. Then she began to glow. “What brought all this up in the first place was an interchange with the two that just went into the great density. They have been there before, and they invited me in. They said they would help me get started. Since then I have been more and more drawn to it. It is becoming bigger and I am getting smaller. I know that I am not moving, but it seems like it. I want it to happen and then there is this new thing: at the same time I don’t want it to happen. What’s going on?”
“A couple of things. You are acquiring density. Density is drawn to density. In the density, when you try to move out, it pulls you back. They call it falling; because you are becoming denser, you are falling into the density. And the not wanting it to happen is the other part of the density. It pushes away too. They call it repulsion. When you get there you will forget all of this, but anyway, when you get there you will live in a kind of tension between wanting and not wanting. It is just part of the density as it is right now. You will get used to it.”
“It seems that the not wanting to go is getting the better of me.”
“One of the reasons we are interchanging is to let you know that I will be here for you, and I will be there for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“We will both be here, and I can explain some more as you go along, as you run into rough patches. It is just that the you in the density won’t hear it at first. You will get lost and lonely and fall to pieces as you sink further and further. But after a while, you will begin to hear. Well not hear like we are hearing now, but almost. It is so loud there that you can’t hear yourself or me for a while.”
“How will you be there for me?”
“I’ve gotten better at being there because I have been there so many times. I know some shortcuts. When you fall as far as you can, and that will seem farther than you can imagine, I will be around. I will look over you, your life, your squashed life. I may look one way one time, and another another time; but I will always be there, somewhere close.”
“I feel like I am shutting down, like the light is going out.”
“That is sleep, just let it have you. You will be so surprised when you wake up. You will be tiny and be held by those two who invited you. I know that it doesn’t mean much now, but when you draw in that first breath, you will be surrounded by their love, and that love will make the pain almost bearable.”
“W…wha ……”
He whispered, “Sleep.”